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What is Marriage? When are you Considered Married?
Thursday, October 27, 2022 by Lyvita Brooks

The definition and purpose of marriage has changed drastically from its beginnings. What is Marriage? How did it get started? What’s the purpose for married? I’m talking biblically.


Please enjoy this podcast on your favorite podcast platform. Although efforts were made in editing, this transcript may include a few typos. It’s difficult to catch some minor errors. Enjoy!

Episode Introduction

Saints, welcome to Hanging Out With Jesus Podcast, I’m Lyvita Brooks, Christian author, Bible teacher, and founder of The Me Project Academy bringing you interviews, book reviews, Christian news, reminders about who you are and whose you are in Christ Jesus and information on how to live a purpose-filled life in Christ.

You can find this episode transcript, our free Christian Blueprint, newsletter and much more at www.hangingoutwithjesuspodcast.com.

Now on to the show …


Review of Topic

0.54 - I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately, simply because I ran across a couple of articles talking about marriage. In the mist of all that jargon this question popped up in my mind, “So what is marriage?”

1:17 - There was this one article that really awakened my senses to a “HUH” moment and that article was titled, “25 Different Types of Marriages,” by Rachael Pace. Saints, seriously! 25 different types. So now, you have a gleams into what this episode is about. So what is marriage? How was it started? What was its original purpose?

1:48 - Well this is episode 64, one of those “Oh My” type episodes which require your thinking hats, Bible, pad, pen, and a comfy place to hang out with Jesus and me.

2:07 - Now if you enjoy this episode then check out episodes 31 and 32 about interceding for your spouse. It helps you better understand the importance of your role as a husband or wife.

FYI, I’ll talk about sex, but nothing gross, but listen first so see if it’s OK for your 15 year old or younger.

So what is marriage, is coming up soon.


Christian News

2:34 - So in Christian news …

Here we go again. The opponents of religious freedom are trying to strip away at our freedom to live and work according to our beliefs. And they are going to extreme lengths to punish anyone who is willing to stand up for their faith.

Saints, it’s time to do and support each other.

3:04 - Do you remember Jack Phillips, the owner of Masterpiece Cakes in Colorado? For the last eight years he has been winning his cases, even won the case with the Supreme Court that he had the right to make cakes according to his faith.

3:22 - Now he is in another battle over the same thing. It’s like the opponents of religious freedom are determined to make him go against his belief. I don’t get it. If a person doesn’t want to make a cake celebrating gender transition and you know he’s won his case to make cakes according to his belief, then why bother him. There are other more famous, even better cake-makers than he in Colorado that are willing to make it. It’s like harass him.

4:20 - Saints, don’t we have the right to speak and stand up for what we believe as a Christian? Don’t we have the right to have Christian music, radios, dress shops, podcasts where we say that we will not something because it’s againt our faith? Why is it that people what to destroy our religious freedom but feel the need to flaunt their beliefs? What makes them better than us? Other religions stand up for what they believe, so why is everyone so against us? Maybe it has a lot to do with the fact we believe in Jesus Christ and they don’t want to be reminded of their need for a Savior. Maybe it’s the fact that we have a God that protects us and loves us and they are jealous. Maybe it’s because the believers aren’t coming out of their COVID hibernation and sharing the Gospel even more boldly and collaboratively as they should.

6:31 - Saints, we are a nation. It’s time we start acting like it and working together. If you want to know more about Alliance Defending Freedom and what they do to help protect our freedom of speech and freedom of religion, then check the link in the show notes. It’s time to join forces and take God at His Word.


Life Experiences

7:13 - Saints, I have two things I want to share.

One, the reason I didn’t release a new episode two weeks ago, was because I went to the Middleburg Film Festival in Virginia. On the next episode, I’ll share more about it. But know this, I thoroughly enjoyed myself, met new people I’d like to stay in touch with and saw some good new movies coming out. If you get our newsletter than you can see the pictures and learn more about the movies I saw, then I share on the podcast. So sign up if you haven’t already.

8:06 - Lastly, the other reason I didn’t release a new episode is because a few of my family members and I went to surprise my Uncle who had a knee operation in August. He is doing much better. But Saints, I have to share this. My Aunt Rudine, cooked for two days because she wanted her brother to have enough food to heat up instead of cook for October.

8:47 - But now this is the part that just amazed me. She was happy as a lark, going from pan to pan, frying this, boiling that, mixing over here, making a list of things we forgot. Happy! It was like she was in her muse and there was nothing but joy. I didn’t see a scrunched up face until she realized I brought in butter milk instead of milk. We laughed. And yet that still did not stop her from working cheerfully.

9:45 - My aunt is a reminder to us all, find what God’s called you to do because in it, you will find joy.

10:27 - Thank ya’ll for supporting this ministry. I’d love to hear from you because then it makes this feel more like a conversation. Contact me on www.hangingoutwithjesuspodcast.com  where you will also find the  transcript for this episode.

10:51 - Now come walk with me where we intentionally and daily hang out with Jesus.



11:06 - Let’s pray

11:58 - Saints, so much can happen when you are hanging out with Jesus. This time wasn’t any different. After reading about Group marriage, interfaith marriage, convenience marriage, open marriage and others, I finally asked God, “So what is marriage?” Seriously Saints, it can’t be that many.

12:26 - Well I did a deep dive into the different types of marriages. You would be amazed. Check out my blog, in which the link can be found below or in The Me Project Academy Newsletter called “28 Different Ways to Marry. Really?”

13:03 - Saints, there is a saying, “marriage is what you make it.”  It’s true when you read the definitions of the different types of marriages. They seem to all be focused on satisfying ones needs through some form of a commitment. One might get confused, even believers that we can define or make our marriage what we want it to be. The truth, marriage is what God said it is. Well let’s do some searching through scripture to find out what God has to say about marriage so we can adjust our thinking to be the same as His.

13:51 - Let’s begin with the Bible which is our authority on everything. If you can, open to Genesis 2: 22 -25. It reads …

And the rib that the Lord God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man. 23 Then the man said,

“This at last is bone of my bones
    and flesh of my flesh;
she shall be called Woman,
    because she was taken out of Man.

24 Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. 25 And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed.

14:40 - Did you see that? God just established the family unit and marriage all in one sentence. How did I get that? Verse 24. Leaving father and mother. That’s a family. Then his wife. Well that’s marriage. 

God started Marriage.

15:10 - First, God started, marriage. Not institutionalized it like we did, but started it … simple. Therefore, all these different types of marriages man came up with, including having more than one wife or dating same sex, is a man thing. Although God allowed David, Abraham and all those dudes to have more than one wife, did you not noticed, God only dealt with a man and one of his wives, especially when it came to Jesus Christ’s line. So that should tell us that marriage in God’s eyes is between one man and one wife.

16:13 - Let’s go back a little further up in Genesis 2 to verses 15 to 20. It reads…

15 The Lord God took the man and put him in the garden of Eden to work it and keep it. 16 And the Lord God commanded the man, saying, “You may surely eat of every tree of the garden, 17 but of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat, for in the day that you eat[d] of it you shall surely die.”

18 Then the Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for[e] him.” 19 Now out of the ground the Lord God had formed[f] every beast of the field and every bird of the heavens and brought them to the man to see what he would call them. And whatever the man called every living creature, that was its name. 20 The man gave names to all livestock and to the birds of the heavens and to every beast of the field. But for Adam[g] there was not found a helper fit for him.

17:21 -  Four things I want you to notice in those 6 verses. One, did you get that God gave Adam something to do that was meaningful? The dude had a job. God gave him the ability to talk to the animals and dominion over taking care of land, sea, and birds of the air; to take care of the garden of Eden, to work it and keep it.

17:53 -  Secondly, This part is romantically cool. So God put Adam to sleep and took out one of his ribs and then closed up the place where He took out the rib. Then God woke him up and brought her over to him. Saints, think about it. You just got finish naming a bunch of animals, in which you saw that there were two of the same and they usually are sniffing each other. But you don’t see anyone you can sniff or talk to like everyone else. Then God, who made you, knows you better than you know yourself, brings the being to you that came from you. Adam, probably did a two- step dance. Saints, that’s like ‘crazy wow’.

19:22 - Third, this is wild. The only reason “woman” exists is because God said that Adam shouldn’t be alone. It wasn’t Adam looking for a woman. God knew what he needed, put a bunch of nameless animals before him so that he could see what God saw. Man saw a missing element in his existence, while he was working, doing what He was designed to do. God set it up for Adam to realize what he was missing so that God could bless him over and above whatever he could think of. Ladies, our arrival, was a like a cool breeze on a clear sunny day. Oh so sweet!  To Adam, I’m referring to.

20:54 -  Fourth and last, God said he will make him a helper. In all the translations, I’ve found, the word, “helper or help” comes first before “fit, companion, perfect for him, etc.” Ya’ll, ladies, we are our husband’s helper. It’s not about the wife or the husband. It’s about doing what God’s called and made you to do as a couple working together where the man knows what he is called to do and the woman is helping him do it. Let me read and you can follow if you can, Genesis 1: 26 – 31:

Then God said, “Let us make man in our image, after our likeness. And let them have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over the livestock and over all the earth and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth.”

27 So God created man in his own image,
    in the image of God he created him;
    male and female he created them.

28 And God blessed them. And God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it, and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over every living thing that moves on the earth.” 29 And God said, “Behold, I have given you every plant yielding seed that is on the face of all the earth, and every tree with seed in its fruit. You shall have them for food. 30 And to every beast of the earth and to every bird of the heavens and to everything that creeps on the earth, everything that has the breath of life, I have given every green plant for food.” And it was so. 31 And God saw everything that he had made, and behold, it was very good. And there was evening and there was morning, the sixth day.

23:31 -  Saints, that’s marriage. A man and his wife doing what God’s designed them to do, together. Remember every Saints, goal is to spread the gospel in order to advance the kingdom of God.

23:47 -  Check out episode 31 and 32. Let’s stay focus because what we are talking about is what is marriage, not the responsibilities of husband and wife. Marriage is about a man and a women working together to do what God’s called them to do as a unit. Marriage is for a man with his wife, doing something together, as one, to advance God’s kingdom.


The Institutionalization of Marriage

24:59 - Saints, FYI: The first recorded marriage between a man and woman was in over 2,350 B.C. in Mesopotamia. It had little to do with love or religion but for procreation or companionship. During that time was the beginning of institutionalizing marriage because before were becoming more of an agrarian, agricultural, organized society.

25:22 - So since then, marriage has become more institutionalized and defined by culture, religion, traditions, societal norms, caste, governments, people’s personal perceptions. In other words, it’s really what man’s wisdom deems it to be for that time of history. This is why we have to look at what God’s word says about marriage for today.

Three Viewpoints

25:56 - Saints, I couldn’t find anything in the Bible that says explicitly at what point a man and a woman are married. But I did find a few viewpoints on the topic. Let’s look at 3 of them.

26:06 – One viewpoint, God considers a man and a woman married when they are legally married under the eyes of the law. Romans 13: 1-7 and 1 Peter 2:17, tell us to obey the government’s laws because the authorities that exist have been established by God. Now if the government requires certain procedures and paperwork to be completed before they recognize this couple as married then the couple needs to submit to that process, as long as it doesn’t contradict God’s Word and are reasonable. But here’s the problem with this view, not all countries have governmental recognition of marriage with or without legal requirements for marriage. Some governments place unbiblical requirements for a marriage. Ya’ll this is why it’s important to pray for people in government at all levels. 

27:55 - The second viewpoint, I’d like to share is when a couple have completed some kind of formal wedding ceremony involving some type of vows. Genesis 2:22, some people consider that the first wedding quote unquote ceremony of a father giving away his daughter, i.e., God giving Eve to Adam. Then you have John 2, the famous Jesus changing the water into wine, which began what we call His ministry. His very presence indicates that a wedding ceremony is acceptable in God’s sight. In every culture there is some type of action, event, agreement, covenant, vow or proclamation that is use to recognize a man and woman as married.

29:19 - Third and last viewpoint I want to share is, the view that the moment a man and a woman engage in sexual intercourse. Some believe that consummating the marriage is the true sign that you are married because they believe this is the ultimate fulfillment of the “one flesh” principle that we read in Genesis 2:24 . For some this is the final “seal” of a marriage covenant. And yet this isn't biblically sound. There are some people who can’t have sexual intercourse and yet legally and ceremonially they are married. What I find interesting is that God distinguishes a wife from a concubine in the Bible. Check out David and Maakah wives vs concubines, those dudes had a lot of each. And yet, they had sex with both.

30:40 - Also 1 Corinthians 7:2 tells us that sex before marriage is immorality. It reads, “But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband.”  So, for a single man and woman to have sex first, then say you are married, isn’t biblical either. Ya’ll just committed the sin of sexual immorality. Even when you look at Genesis 24, you might say Isaac and Rebekah became married solely by sexual intercourse without any type of ceremony. And yet you need to read it all, because the details that lead up to the marriage where Isaac’s father, Abraham gave his servant a list of things to do to find Isaac a wife. The servant even prayed for God’s guidance and confirmation in which God did by honoring his request. Then a dowry was paid and verbal contracts pledged between Abraham’s servant and Rebekah’s brother Laban In their culture this is a formal process for marriage: traditional dowry paid, conditons met, answers to prayers and God’s blessing on the entire event from Abraham to servant to servant to Laban to servant to Isaac.


Finally, what is Marriage?

32:29 -  Again, let me add. The Bible doesn’t explicitly saw what constitutes a marriage but for the research I’ve just shared we can agree on these four things. One marriage is between a man and a woman.

32:43 - Two, a couple should follow government guidelines that state they are officially married which are reasonable and not against the Bible.

32:51 - Third, a man and a woman should follow whatever family, cultural and covenantal practices that typically state you are officially married.

33:06 - And lastly, consummate the marriage, sexually by fulfilling the “one flesh” principle.

33:25 - There is something else I wish to add here. God has called all of us believers to share the Gospel and advance the kingdom of God. Now when you put all 5 together … that’s marriage.

34:49 - Saints, be aware of the things you believe. Always return to the Bible for clarity for truth. And don’t look around for one little scripture. Put some time into it testing your new found belief, even sharing with other believers who offer wise counsel what they gather from your research. Just as I ask you to share your comments on the transcript. What have you found out about “What is Marriage?” that you think I haven’t covered.

35:52 - And if you ever come up with a question that you want to share with me so we can converse over email, then send it to me, but do your research first. Hangingoutwithjesuspodcast.com/contact or [email protected]

36:47 - Saints we have been inundated with so much from the time we were born to whatever age you are now with stuff that isn’t truth but the world’s philosophy and man’s wisdom until sometimes it’s hard for us to distinguish what is truth and what is a lie. That’s why spending quality alone time with God, practicing and learning how to hear His voice is critical. Along with developing relationships with others who love searching the scriptures for truth.

38:35 - Thanks for listening today you may also find it helpful to receive the Me Project Academy newsletter which contains episode updates, blog post, and much more that isn’t included on each episode. All this and links can be found, including my contact information, on www.hangingoutwithjesuspodcast.com or in the show notes.

So until we meet again over the airwaves, intentionally and daily, hang out with Jesus.

Lyvita: Shalom!


Resources Mentioned on the episode and suggested reading and social media handles:




Richard w Reese From At 11/3/2022 4:11:15 PM

Christian News and different types of marriages were informative. I enjoyed the discussion about types of marriages. Good research. I will keep the information on file for reference. Love, Dad.

Reply by: Lyvita Brooks

Dad, thanks for words of encouragement and support.

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